Blog: It’s Complicated Because You Complicated It.
So y’all really out here playing around with people’s feelings huh?! There’s a pretty consistent pattern that deserves a bit of inconsistency. The cat chases mouse game is so satisfying in the inaugural stages but once the cat catches the mouse, well then the real games commence. ::rubs hands like Stevie J::
You lie or suppress your feelings and you have to act like you don’t care even if/when you do because it’s just casual so feelings aren’t allowed. But if your feelings do start to get involved, I dare you to disclose them because God forbid the other person feels mutually. ::insert mad sarcasm:: When dating, make sure you remain slightly unavailable because if you are too available the other person gets turned off. No matter how much you want to converse, don’t pick up on every phone call and don’t immediately respond to every text. Oh, but be sure to eventually respond to the text because then you’ll be accused of acting “light skin” (whatever the fuck that means). Don't be too chivalrous or give too many compliments because that defines you as thirsty or soft according to the rules created by lifelong serial daters.
It all just gets far too complicated... Care if you care, feel if you feel, emote if there are emotions, be natural in your actions and expressive with your words.
... pause for dramatic effect because whew chile, THAT was a word...
Stop forcing yourself to be single but don’t force a relationship. In the beginning you both expressed that this was casual but you start to catch feelings as if feelings are freakishly unnatural ::eyeroll::. Now the person who houses the feelings, dates other people to kind of spread the attention around when they’d rather just give it all to that one person. This right here is the danger zone, you’ve may have just potentially lost “the one”.
Let’s try something, I don’t know, honest?! Tell them how you feel, if they’re not with the shits then move on. You’ve stated your peace so now you owe them nothing, it was fun while it lasted ::insert brown peace fingers emoji::. The games are partially acceptable in the beginning because you’re guarded but how long do you need the secret service of love on payroll for your emotional protection? If it’s real natural love you desire, why suppress everything that feels natural?!
Either you pretend like you don’t care so well that you’ve genuinely convinced yourself that you don’t give a fuck or you protect your emotions, feelings and heart so hard that real love is never let in. Thus, you settle and the score at the end of the game is a draw. You both lose.
(originally written Nov 13, 2016. Still VERY relevant)